Social Commentary | phillboas

By Phill Boas

Elat had been sitting for nearly an hour with newspapers spread on the kitchen table. His wife, initially interested in some of the articles he had read her out loud, now wanted to get on with her day’s chores. As he began his daily rant about one of the articles she gently kissed him on the forehead and, lifting his arm suggested that now would be an excellent time for him to take his newspapers and retire to his study where he could give them uninterrupted attention.

Elat knew that this was a suggestion he should take. He was fuming over the blatant lying and undisguised self-interest that was at the centre of the political news of the day as it reported about another party replacement of a sitting Prime Minister who had actually been voted in by the Australian people. The challenger had clearly been supported by a colleague who had blatantly lied about his future intentions. Elat began to muse quietly to himself about the way Parliamentarians consistently behaved badly.

The note on the Speakers lectern in both Houses of the Australian Parliament simply read:

“All elected representatives of both Houses of Parliament with be subject to a regime of behavioural inducements. These will continue until the insensitive, childlike, self-interested, unstatesmanlike and dysfunctional behaviour of members has ceased and both Houses of this Parliament are acting in the interests of the Australian People both long and short term.”

It was simply signed: A spokesperson for the Australian People.

The Speakers of both houses assumed it was a joke and simply put it aside.

Note:

Starting that day, during Question Time, with the House in session; whenever a member issued a facetious comment directed against a member from their opposition the member would receive a splat of very nice tasting marshmallow like substance—about an inch in diameter—on the forehead, which needed to be wiped off but could, the Speaker informed members, he had been informed, be safely eaten. It appeared to have been flicked from the other side of the house but the exact location of the person responsible could never be detected.

Immediately after this began there were strong complaints from each recipient and the speaker would find a note on his rostrum naming the childlike or otherwise inappropriate behaviour for which the small sweet projectile had been sent.

It was freaky, but, within the hour, members realised that whatever was the source of these missives/missiles they were unable to be prevented and with increasingly fewer backslidings, both houses began to settle down to a new more adult form of engagement.

The same thing happened when a member lied or misrepresented their position or misinformed someone on what they had or had not said or done.

Within a month, the politicians of the Australian Parliament were behaving in entirely new and refreshing ways. Promises were not being made because every lying promise or potentially unfulfillable promise received a splat of the delicious marshmallowy projectile coming from no-one-knew-where.

Misinformation received the same treatment as did a considerable suite of undiplomatic behaviours and behaviours motivated by self-interest rather than community or societal concerns. Politicians were being publicly shamed and forced to take account of the short, medium and long term consequences of their actions and commitments. They were also being strongly discouraged from pursuing their personal or party political and sectional interests when they conflicted with the overall public good.

A new era was being created in the Australian parliament amongst its political denizens.

Good social engineering was the final thought Elat had as his wife tapped him gently on the shoulder and he blinked and realised she was putting his tea down beside his newspapers.

Elat #30

31/08/2018

Elat – Guilty by Accusation

by Phill Boas

Elat had been listening to the news, the Coach of his football team had just resigned because of the awful performance of the team since the drug scandal. For no reason other than his public record, Elat believed James was a good man. The seemingly inappropriate behaviour of the AFL executive and the national Australian Sports Anti Doping Authority angered and frustrated him. His team had been punished only because they had been accused. ASADA had after more than two years of bumbling around failed to convict anyone of anything. Nevertheless his team and the coach had been punished because they had been accused.

Elat went to bed furious, because after two years of failing to find anything ASADA having lost their case sent the problem to the World Anti Doping Authority. No-one seemed to think their failure meant anything! Now his favourite coach had been forced out. Guilty by accusation did not seem to be the democratic way. His team had lost their draft picks and been prevented from playing finals- how was that appropriate? Since when were people in Australia guilty until proven innocent?

Elat tossed and turned, his sleep restless. The local Parking Inspector was writing a ticket for a local female resident of Elat’s township when the attractive young woman who owned the car came back to her car. She asked him to not write the ticket but he did not take any notice of her. She claimed he had been sexually harassing her, had offered to stop writing the ticket if he would sleep with him. He was stood down pending an enquiry. The story was picked up by the local then the national news. The same week the young woman who made the (false) allegation and who worked as the Personal Assistant to a State Union Secretary refused to witness the signature of the Union’s Lawyer for a document setting up an odd and possibly illegal slush fund. The following week she was put on report for failing to obey a legitimate order, not for the Slush Fund signature, but for something in which she had actually not been involved. However, she could not prove she had not been involved because it was her word against her boss’s word. She was then required to front up to a workplace disputes tribunal.

Meanwhile, the Parking Inspector’s wife, having heard the accusation against her husband took the children and went to stay with her mother, not wanting to be with a man who sexually harassed women and refused to acknowledge his bad behaviour by lying about it.

Elat was outraged. How could it be that accusations by people who has something to gain from the situation could take control of people’s lives. He realised he must be very naiive.

It turned out, on the same day the Parking Inspector was required to turn up to the tribunal regarding his sexual harassment the young woman was required by the tribunal and the two found themselves in the same waiting area prior to their cases being heard. The two looked at one another somewhat askance. When the young woman realised the consequences for the Inspector of her accusation she went and formally withdrew her complaint.

It turned out that the Tribunal hearings were being heard by the Inspector’s Uncle. When the Inspector heard what had happened to the young woman he spoke to his uncle and he was able to have her case dismissed for lack of valid evidence.

Elat felt that fairness and equity had been established and stopped thrashing around and settled quietly to a sound sleep before his wife called him to come and have his cup of tea.